Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
