this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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