I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
