i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
