I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
