i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
