I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
