Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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