Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize