We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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