I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
