This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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