I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
