I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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