so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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