so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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