Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I love having hate sex.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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