At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
