I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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