I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize