first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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