I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize