We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
