Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
