I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
