dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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