spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
