That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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