I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
