His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
