Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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