Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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