Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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