Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
