I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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