Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
