Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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