We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
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I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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