in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
