Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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