i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
