You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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