i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
