Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Randomize
