We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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