You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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