He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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