why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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