Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
