I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
