I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My liver just had a heart attack.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
