there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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