Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
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Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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