At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
