i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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