I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We got so high we made milksteak
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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