Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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