a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
